Virgen Marathon

Good Morning -

Christ - I know. It's been a long time. I'd share the reasons for this absence from Blog Land, but they're no different from the last posting sometime around the end of January. Work is imbalanced right now and most of my energy is inside as I sort through the family stuff. Nothing new.

I did take today off, though, and am happy to be here in my pajamas, drinking tea and cataloging some of these Virgens. I've worked the last two Saturdays and was going to save both comp days until the end of the month when we move to Louisville, but decided yesterday that I need a day today.

So, here I am. On the agenda for the day is making a pan of lasagna and a flourless chocolate cake for the dinner we're having tonight with a couple of friends, a nap, and a filling at the dentist (that one is actually a reschedule from yesterday morning when I was so caught up in the circus music, I was stepping out of the shower at the time I was supposed to be stepping into the dentist's office. Happily (but not really because it's a filling and there's not much that's "happy" about getting a filling) they were able to reschedule me for today).

Let's talk Virgens, hmm? The one above is from Sunday, Jan. 25th and represents our Week of Eating Creatively.

My partner is reading a lot right now about consumerism and one of the books she read encouraged people to frugally fast for one week a month as a means of stepping back from the earn/spend cycle in which we exist most of the time.

Fasting for me brings up deprivation model Catholicism and the ego-basting that can come from self-denial (plus, I know first-hand what it's like to be hungry and don't need to create that experience in order to have empathy with those who don't have regular access to food), so I have reframed this idea to the Week of Eating Creatively.

Basically, it's a week where you commit to not spending any money, which is a great way to work through all that stuff you buy at the store and forget about until you're either cleaning the fridge or moving and are faced with food waste.

I love a good creative challenge and certainly have had times earlier in my wage-earning days when I wasn't spending any money after paying bills until my next check arrived, so this is nothing but good, easy fun for me.

Because it's been so long (we're actually in our February Creative Eating Week right now), I don't remember all of our recipes, but a highlight included using the frozen bread crumbs (made from a stale loaf of homemade honey mustard bread (so, in a competitive way, that's like double bonus points...)) to bread strips of frozen chicken breast, which we accompanied with roasted sweet potatoes.

It's a great thing and does wonders for an over-full freezer and too-stocked pantry.

Monday, January 26th. I think this was just yet one more tribute to the life I'm building - a visual "Hold on, I'm coming!" shout to the Universe as I move towards this life.

Tuesday, Jan. 27th. I believe it was very cold this day because this image from a travel magazine depicts an "exotic" hotel made all of ice. I love me my four seasons, and hold a deep appreciation for cold weather, but I do not ever want to stay in an all-ice hotel. Nothing about that sounds like a good time.

Wednesday, Jan. 28th. It was a bit of a rough day, thus the image of a gutted pomegranate. Certainly painful, but if you look closely, says my eternal optimist, you notice the seeds of potential spilling out.

Wednesdays always have potential to be hard because they are faculty meeting days and I lack the appreciation of higher ed that is necessary to really enjoy this much time with that side of my job.

This one was particularly rough because I witnessed behavior in a meeting the likes of which I have never seen - and that includes in the self-contained, behavior skills classroom I had at the high school. I watched silently for an hour as three PhDs decimated a colleague, while two others sat idly by - all in the name of some ego-based, proprietary nonsense. Shameful.

As the only non-PhD in the room, I felt I wasn't in a place to interrupt the behavior (it's such a hierarchical, credentialist system), so did what I could, which was to pull the woman who was attacked aside after the meeting and, with tears in my eyes, tell her that I was sorry for how she was treated and that it wasn't okay.

Academics are generally not used to direct communication nor displays of emotion, so she was surprised but grateful for my act. I still feel unsettled and think sometimes that I should have disrupted the behavior and risked possible repercussions. That's a bit of a could've/would've/should've/didn't, but it has at least moved me to consider how much I want to continue to participate in such an unjust system and self-reflection that leads to life change is always a good thing.

Thursday, Jan. 29th. I had a wonderful massage at Apothecary and the central imagery during the treatment was all about trees, thus this Virgen. It was such a grounding, cleansing, affirming experience - just what I needed after Abuse of Power Wednesday.

Friday, Jan. 30th. It's an image from a rum add, and I liked the visual of the smooth reeds bound together because that's not at all what my current Now feels like. There's always such a fine balance between holding it together, letting it fall apart, and not trying to hold so much that you end up like the 10 of Wands in tarot. Right now, I could use a little more together, but need to put some of these wands down first or I won't be able to move even if I get them organized.

Saturday, Jan. 31st. I spent the first part of the day teaching my Culturally Responsive librarian class (this is what we do in culturally responsive ed), but then took myself down to Waterton for a nice long walk. It was a beautiful afternoon and the consistent sound of the water worked wonders on my soul. I saw deer, big horn sheep, many birds, and lots of symbolic imagery for my Now (rock walls slowly rusting, rocks pushing up through creek ice, water moving through and over ice, and lots of other rather obvious and a bit clumsy but still comforting images).

Sunday, Feb. 1st. Yeah, I don't know. No, wait, yes I do - this was Superbowl Sunday, so this Virgen is a tribute to all of the ads we watched. Some were clever (here's where I admit with a little shame to laughing out loud at the Pepsi One ad with the guys suffering various physical traumas - too many cartoons in youth produce a sick and a little dark appreciation for base physical humor...), some were not, but all reaffirmed my gratitude for not being caught up in pop culture. It's always a nice experience to listen to the messaging of ads, not feel swayed to purchase, and wonder if they really do work on people.

Monday, Feb. 2nd. I got a cleaning this day (which led to the scheduling for a filling) and left with my mouth feeling as cool and clean as this winter wonderland (which is an image lifted from a Vodka ad, too much of which will leave one with a very different feeling mouth. I imagine the marketers want one to focus on the first-glass fresh feeling and not the mossy-sticky, three-too-many feeling, while still hoping that one drinks the Vodka with enough focus and determination that one is back to buy another in fairly quick return. It's like the secret of the ad...shhh...).

Tuesday, Feb. 3rd. My partner was down with pneumonia, so I made us a simple dinner of salad. It was good and I chose to ignore the awareness of how far my crisp greens had to travel to arrive in my Denver February home.

Wednesday, Feb. 4th. Potatoes. I'm not sure about this one, but it could potentially be a tribute to Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which I was recently rereading. I love Barbara and look forward to our move at the end of the month that will up the potential of us growing our own in season.

Thursday, Feb. 5th. A little bit of longing here, in this image of a wonderfully snowed-in mountain cabin. Screw Calgon and its litany of chemical ingredients - I want to be taken away by a cabin in the woods.

Friday, Feb. 6th. Just a daisy kind of day. We had a friend visit us from NYC for the weekend and spent this first night eating pizza and drinking wine way past what is my normal bed time. Delightful.

Saturday, Feb. 7th. I worked during the day, supporting our Community class as they practiced learning about communities so they can take the knowledge back to their classrooms and kids. That evening, though, I caught up with my partner and our NY friend and we dined at Dushanbe Tea House before settling back at the house for some tarot readings.

It's my little secret that I do tarot readings (although, not really, since I'm putting it here in my uber-public blog space...). Doing them always feels like creating sacred space to me - it's like spending an hour bearing witness to a friend's thoughts with visual cues and symbolism to explore. It's a special experience and one I don't take lightly (which is why, Love, I won't ever take this talent to the Halloween Party Circuit - as an introvert, the idea of bearing intimate witness to the thoughts of strangers is horrifying at minimum, toxic at worst).

Sunday, Feb. 8th. It was a cold day, so after dropping our friend at the airport, my partner and I did some shopping for groceries and then settled into the making of a pot of soup.

She did most (read: all) of the cooking, save for the green and purple kale I chopped. Even after sharing some of this soup with my parents, we still have plenty of left-overs, which is exactly what we want in Eat Creatively Week.

(If you're wondering about the grocery shopping and how that works with Eat Creatively Week, really the idea is that the day before the week starts, you get some foundational essentials (milk, eggs, etc.) that will enable you to create deliciousness from all the food you're going to use up that week.)

Monday, Feb. 9th. I find great solace in dishes right now. There's something so calming about facing a cluttered counter, organizing the dishes, soaping them with hot water, loading the dishwasher, and then experiencing the peace of a clean counter (our dishwasher is such that it really is just a rinse/sanitize space that works better to hold all those dishes as they dry than a rack on the counter).

There's a lot in my life right now that is not such a quick fix and isn't so easily organized, so the dishes give me a sense of having positive impact.

This is that rusty rock wall from Waterton. I love the slow erosion of it all.

Sunset at Waterton.

My partner with her breakfast and paper. There are certain images that act as doorways to the specific spots in my heart held for certain individuals. Her beautiful hands flipping newspaper pages, a winter cap worn inside, a plate of leftovers balanced over the paper - these are some of the keys to the Cathy section in my heart.

Mr. 447. While that is still a really high glucose level ("normal" is around 100), in the harm reduction model we use here in our home, it's a great improvement from the over 500 glucose levels he normally has.


Here's to that. Here's to harm reduction. Here's to defining "normal" in a way that's authentic and particular to you, and here's to finally catching up with all these Virgens.