Wrapping Up the Virgens as We Know Them

Good Evening -

I thought I could get these posted yesterday and keep postings to a week apart, but, alack and well a day, it wasn't to be (I'm tired tonight and sometimes when I'm tired I default to Shakespeare).

I don't know if it's because we're getting ready to go out of town for 10 blissful days this Friday or because the days are longer or there's some work stress or what, but it feels really busy right now. I have this goal that someday my life flow will be such that there's more fluidity between "work" and "home", such that the transition between the two isn't nearly as rough. I picture a time in which I work from home and my work is such that it reflects my life more directly.

More on that some other time. Let's talk Virgens.

The image above is from May 8th and I had the phrase "shooting fish in a barrel" in my head when I was making the tile, so this was the image to which I was drawn. My friend had used the phrase to describe a work situation and I found myself staying with the image long past our conversation (she also taught me "loaded for bear", but that one doesn't fall into my head nearly as often...). Sometimes all the imaginary busy and pomp of commuting and working downtown feels a bit like being part of a school of fish, so this also could have played into the image selection. Either way, aren't they a lovely blue?

Saturday, May 9th. I'm not even going to string together extrapolations about fish and work and commuting and such for this one because the stretch would be more than any good story line could hold. I have no good reason (that I am currently remembering) for this image. It was a Saturday, we probably did some errands, we probably did some relaxing. Who knows? Let's move on.

Now this one I know. This is from Sunday, May 10th, and is in honor of the great dinner me, my partner, and one of my sisters had with our mom. She spent the morning brunching at my parent's house with my dad and Those Who Bear Children (I found out my dad has started a tradition of taking my child-bearing sisters, sister-in-law, and mother out for Mother's Day brunch, which had me telling my other sister that it made me want to start More than a Functioning Uterus Day) and then joined us up here for dinner.

Because of my Dad's illness, she doesn't venture out much, save to go to the store or his doctor appointments, so I didn't think she'd want to come all the way up from Littleton for dinner (since his diagnosis, he has cultivated the energy to venture up this way twice - once for the baptism of the Hijos' children (Hijos de Oro - Golden Children - nickname for the siblings who try to disappear me and my two other sisters) and once for their dance recital. Clearly, when sufficiently motivated, he can travel, and, even though I live within a 10-mile radius of all of the Hijos, he has not yet made it up to my place. Should I hold my breath? I think not.)

When I explained, though, that my other sister had to work that day in Boulder and so wouldn't have the energy to do dinner in Littleton, she offered to come up to our place. I knew a day to be herself, unto herself, would be a gift, so I was super-excited that she was coming.

We had great grilled dinner and sat around the table, drinking wine and sharing stories. For all the nonsense of the Hijos and all the complexity of my relationship with my Dad through his dying process, I am consistently grateful for the developing relationship with my Mom. I would have never imagined it, and wouldn't trade it for the world.

Monday, May 11th. I had a day-long planning meeting at a co-worker's house today and, since she lives 7 miles from my place, decided to ride there and back. It was great, even though I arrived bright red and sweating. I explained between sips of water that, regardless of the shape I'm in, I turn bright red and sweat buckets when exercising, so she and her partner should not be alarmed at the shade of my face. She laughed and said she does the same thing, calling it cardiovascular embarrassment. Also, it didn't help my complexion that they live at the top of a very big hill.

Tuesday, May 12th. Green, green, verdant vistas everywhere I look. I am consistently renewed by where I live. Yes.

Wednesday, May 13th. I had our upcoming trip to Seattle/San Juan Islands on my brain this day. I am so excited about this trip. I love any travel, but this trip is especially exciting. I want it to be gray and misty and tres Seattle the whole time. I want to sip hot beverages while walking barefoot on wet sandy beaches. I want to stuff myself with seafood. I want to sit on a hill and watch the whales move through and the waves roll in. I want to stare into my partner's eyes over some great meal, and hold her hand as we listen to Mary Oliver read her poetry. Oh, it'll be good.

Thursday, May 14th. We had this to be garden day, but then a late work meeting came up, so my partner had to reschedule. Eager to play in the dirt, I went ahead and arranged for a bale of straw to be delivered and spent the evening working in the garden - tidying up rows, planting the potatoes and garlic that had sprouted in our pantry, and trying to make order out of the hundreds of squash (or cucumber) seeds that exploded forth from the compost we had thrown into the soil. The compost was left behind from our landlords, and, by the bevy of seeds that have broken ground all over the place, I'd say that they must have eaten their weight in vine vegetables. Fantastic.

Friday, May 15th - date night. We had a great evening of dinner and drinks, followed by Lucy and Antje at Swallow Hill. I am amazed that I never knew of this venue before. Maybe I moved in different circles when I lived here before, but I had never been to a show here, despite that it's been around longer than me.

It's a great old church and they bring in wonderful singer-songwriter types to sing to you and tell stories. It's my favorite way to experience live music these days - leave the stadiums and such to the raucous youth - I'll take an intimate venue with comfy seats any day.

Saturday, May 16th - we ran errands and made time to wander some back roads between barns. Excellent. It does so much for my spirit to get visual cues of my What Next as I move through my Now.

Sunday, May 17th - big bike ride. This was the first time since I've started getting back in shape that I felt like my old self on my bike. 15.6 miles and I could have done three times that.

I had shared with my Shytown sister that, while I've been out of shape and gotten back in before, this was the first time that the getting back in felt different and the first time that I wasn't convinced that I could do it. I've certainly been out of shape before, but never did I doubt that once I started riding my bike again, I would get back into shape, and I always did.

This time, though, is full of doubts - and really low energy. My sister said that she has the same experience with running in Chicago lately and that someone suggested it was because all of her yin energy was going to handling the hard feelings around the family stuff, leaving none for other activities. This makes sense and makes me mad. I'll be damned if my efforts at self-care are going to be thwarted by dealing with my mean siblings and emotionally complicated dying father. Maybe that sounds unrealistic, but too bad. It took me too long to learn to take care of myself, I'm not going to hand those skills over now.

Part of that, of course, is honoring when my body has no energy and needs to sit peacefully instead of clocking mile after mile through the green countryside around my home. Yes. Both.


Joy in Chicken Wire. I had barely returned my shovel to the shed after spreading straw, planting potatoes, and tidying rows when Owen, my most bad cat, sauntered over and fertilized the garden. That bastard. I knew I couldn't have him do this all summer and knew that the lure of the freshly tilled soil was going to be too much for him, so I installed this "fence" on Sunday. It's pretty flimsy, but hopefully is enough to inspire him to find other plants to piss on.

Owen aside, I felt such joy the whole time I put this up. It felt so good to be working with fence stakes, chicken wire, and a staple gun - I smiled thinking of the day when more of my energy (yin, yang, or otherwise) goes to such activities.

Here's to that. Here's to joy in activities and the time to do them. Here's to wonderful dinner guests, upcoming trips, and all the joy your heart can hold.

Oh, Also - Stay tuned this Thursday when we wrap up a Year of Virgens. That's right - Thursday I will spread the Mod Podge on my 365th Virgen. Happily, just like our original plan, I will be leaving for the Pacific Northwest the next day with my partner. Our stuff won't be in storage, we won't be leaving from Tucson, and we won't be camping our way up the coast and over to our new home in Colorado, but otherwise, it's very similar to the original plan - at least in the "leave for the Pacific Northwest on May 22nd, 2009" sort of way.