(Photo added 8/6 with happy return of partner.)Good Morning -
Alas, no picture because my partner has her camera with her in Portland (wouldn't you want to get pictures of green and gorgeous if you lived in the desert?). I'll edit it in on Wednesday after she's back.
When you can see the Virgen, what you'll see is a portion of a typed letter as background, with a large sunflower image in the center. Moving counter-clockwise around the image of the sunflower are smaller images of sunflowers with paper bags over them (to protect the seeds from birds), gloved hands removing seeds from a head, and a pan of roasted seeds. The top corner is the Virgen.
What's this? The letter is the most recent of many "thanks but, uh...no" letters I've received from the HR department of a certain organization in town. I spent most of last summer submitting my resume to this place for different positions, either to never hear anything back, or eventually - like months later - get a letter telling me "no". A couple of times since I've been at my current job, I've even gotten a couple of calls inviting me to interview for positions I applied to a year ago (my turn to say, "thanks but, uh...no").
How is it, then, that I've got myself a new rejection letter? A little over a month ago, someone I know who worked at this place for 30 years before retiring this summer, put me on a list of people he thought would make good appointments for his position. The woman who called me explained that he had retired too late for them to do their standard hiring process, so were going to appoint a person for a year while they did their search. He had helped them by giving names of people he thought would be good. My name was on that list.
I was surprized and flattered (gets me in trouble every time), so of course said that, yes, I was interested in pursuing the process. She arranged for me to meet for an interview with herself and the supervisor, and stated that a decision would be made shortly thereafter - with a few weeks for vacations worked in.
I met with both women, had what seemed like a great conversation, and then went to California. When I got back, I hadn't heard, so followed up by email. In response to my email, I was told the supervisor I had met with transferred to a different location, and the new supervisor wanted to go through HR and post the position instead of just appointing someone off of the list.
This made me cry for a moment because my experience with this particular HR department has been anything but successful or efficient. It's not that they've never hired me - it's that communication and trying to get information from them in any sort of a reasonably timely manner is next to impossible (the fact that I got this rejection letter so "quickly" - even at all - is amazing).
I wiped my tears, though, and submitted my materials because it was a good opportunity. For being as large as they are, their HR is fairly inadequate, which includes not having online application processes and having to submit in person all materials - including a multi-page, hand-written application form that must be turned in, regardless of resume (even fast-food places like Arby's have an on-line app in most of their locations...).
When I submitted my information on the second day of the position being posted, the woman at the desk (who was eating her lunch), said she'd time stamp it and then set it on a precarious pile of paper. I didn't trust them, so stood there for a second. Taking a second bite of her sandwich, she looked at me and said again with more emphasis, "I'll time stamp it". I had no choice but to leave and trust and send an email later that day to the HR contact listed for the position, requesting confirmation of receipt of my info.
I didn't get a reply from the email, so I called two days later and - amazingly - got the HR contact live on the phone. She said she couldn't find my info, but figured it was because the woman who enters them into the computer was gone for the week. I knew the position closed that Friday and knew I left the following Thursday for vacation, so asked if she thought it wouldn't get entered until Monday. She wasn't sure, but didn't seem concerned.
I then decided to email the woman who replaced the woman I had met with and let her know that I would be out of town by the end of the following week, so they could interview me at the start of the week, if they decided they wanted to interview me (the position needs to get filled quickly, and from what I understood from the woman who had originally told me about the position, they would be interviewing the week I was gone).
I never got a response to that email, so slowly accepted through some good, good cries that it wasn't going to happen. Yesterday the letter came that confirmed that.
I told my partner the whole thing makes me feel like one must feel when one goes back to an ex for the night, only to regret it almost instantly. I knew this organization was problematic, but the position was good and the man who retired from it (the one who had put my name on the list of potential appointees) offered such support and encouragement throughout the process (like a mutual friend who says, "No, she's totally changed. She's a different person now. You should give it another go.").
I've never gone back to an ex (well, I might have once, but it was extenuating circumstances of "we're friends, no we're a couple, no I'm with him, no we're together, no we're friends" - I was a different person then, to be sure, to go along with such a yo-yo ride) - but still have to imagine that it feels like this - like all you want to do is grab your panties and go back to your place where you can scrounge around under your couch for that last shred of dignity you think you saw the last time you moved the furniture to vacuum.
On the upside, I'm used to being rejected by this place, so yesterday it didn't hurt as much when I saw the wafer-thin envelope from them in my mail. I considered saving it, then burning it, but settled on incorporating it into the Virgen. While it didn't hurt as much, it still hurt a bit and I found that the job-seeking work I had planned for yesterday was stalled by a self-confidence low.
I gave myself the room yesterday to question my abilities, but today am getting back in the saddle because there's a great position I saw that is similar except that it is in the place we're trying to go to, which gets me closer to what I really want (I had been willing to wait to move for a year while doing this position because it was such a good opportunity - now I don't have to worry about it. Full steam ahead.)
So, like the Virgen illustrates, I intend to use these crappy experiences as fertilizer to grow something gorgeous. There's a saying about one not being a writer until one can wall paper one's house with rejection letters from publishers. While I don't have that many, it is a good reminder of staying in the game, learning, learning, learning, and keeping your eyes on what it is you really, really, want.
Here's to that. Here's to flowers blooming out of composted crap. Here's to that position manifesting.
Alas, no picture because my partner has her camera with her in Portland (wouldn't you want to get pictures of green and gorgeous if you lived in the desert?). I'll edit it in on Wednesday after she's back.
When you can see the Virgen, what you'll see is a portion of a typed letter as background, with a large sunflower image in the center. Moving counter-clockwise around the image of the sunflower are smaller images of sunflowers with paper bags over them (to protect the seeds from birds), gloved hands removing seeds from a head, and a pan of roasted seeds. The top corner is the Virgen.
What's this? The letter is the most recent of many "thanks but, uh...no" letters I've received from the HR department of a certain organization in town. I spent most of last summer submitting my resume to this place for different positions, either to never hear anything back, or eventually - like months later - get a letter telling me "no". A couple of times since I've been at my current job, I've even gotten a couple of calls inviting me to interview for positions I applied to a year ago (my turn to say, "thanks but, uh...no").
How is it, then, that I've got myself a new rejection letter? A little over a month ago, someone I know who worked at this place for 30 years before retiring this summer, put me on a list of people he thought would make good appointments for his position. The woman who called me explained that he had retired too late for them to do their standard hiring process, so were going to appoint a person for a year while they did their search. He had helped them by giving names of people he thought would be good. My name was on that list.
I was surprized and flattered (gets me in trouble every time), so of course said that, yes, I was interested in pursuing the process. She arranged for me to meet for an interview with herself and the supervisor, and stated that a decision would be made shortly thereafter - with a few weeks for vacations worked in.
I met with both women, had what seemed like a great conversation, and then went to California. When I got back, I hadn't heard, so followed up by email. In response to my email, I was told the supervisor I had met with transferred to a different location, and the new supervisor wanted to go through HR and post the position instead of just appointing someone off of the list.
This made me cry for a moment because my experience with this particular HR department has been anything but successful or efficient. It's not that they've never hired me - it's that communication and trying to get information from them in any sort of a reasonably timely manner is next to impossible (the fact that I got this rejection letter so "quickly" - even at all - is amazing).
I wiped my tears, though, and submitted my materials because it was a good opportunity. For being as large as they are, their HR is fairly inadequate, which includes not having online application processes and having to submit in person all materials - including a multi-page, hand-written application form that must be turned in, regardless of resume (even fast-food places like Arby's have an on-line app in most of their locations...).
When I submitted my information on the second day of the position being posted, the woman at the desk (who was eating her lunch), said she'd time stamp it and then set it on a precarious pile of paper. I didn't trust them, so stood there for a second. Taking a second bite of her sandwich, she looked at me and said again with more emphasis, "I'll time stamp it". I had no choice but to leave and trust and send an email later that day to the HR contact listed for the position, requesting confirmation of receipt of my info.
I didn't get a reply from the email, so I called two days later and - amazingly - got the HR contact live on the phone. She said she couldn't find my info, but figured it was because the woman who enters them into the computer was gone for the week. I knew the position closed that Friday and knew I left the following Thursday for vacation, so asked if she thought it wouldn't get entered until Monday. She wasn't sure, but didn't seem concerned.
I then decided to email the woman who replaced the woman I had met with and let her know that I would be out of town by the end of the following week, so they could interview me at the start of the week, if they decided they wanted to interview me (the position needs to get filled quickly, and from what I understood from the woman who had originally told me about the position, they would be interviewing the week I was gone).
I never got a response to that email, so slowly accepted through some good, good cries that it wasn't going to happen. Yesterday the letter came that confirmed that.
I told my partner the whole thing makes me feel like one must feel when one goes back to an ex for the night, only to regret it almost instantly. I knew this organization was problematic, but the position was good and the man who retired from it (the one who had put my name on the list of potential appointees) offered such support and encouragement throughout the process (like a mutual friend who says, "No, she's totally changed. She's a different person now. You should give it another go.").
I've never gone back to an ex (well, I might have once, but it was extenuating circumstances of "we're friends, no we're a couple, no I'm with him, no we're together, no we're friends" - I was a different person then, to be sure, to go along with such a yo-yo ride) - but still have to imagine that it feels like this - like all you want to do is grab your panties and go back to your place where you can scrounge around under your couch for that last shred of dignity you think you saw the last time you moved the furniture to vacuum.
On the upside, I'm used to being rejected by this place, so yesterday it didn't hurt as much when I saw the wafer-thin envelope from them in my mail. I considered saving it, then burning it, but settled on incorporating it into the Virgen. While it didn't hurt as much, it still hurt a bit and I found that the job-seeking work I had planned for yesterday was stalled by a self-confidence low.
I gave myself the room yesterday to question my abilities, but today am getting back in the saddle because there's a great position I saw that is similar except that it is in the place we're trying to go to, which gets me closer to what I really want (I had been willing to wait to move for a year while doing this position because it was such a good opportunity - now I don't have to worry about it. Full steam ahead.)
So, like the Virgen illustrates, I intend to use these crappy experiences as fertilizer to grow something gorgeous. There's a saying about one not being a writer until one can wall paper one's house with rejection letters from publishers. While I don't have that many, it is a good reminder of staying in the game, learning, learning, learning, and keeping your eyes on what it is you really, really, want.
Here's to that. Here's to flowers blooming out of composted crap. Here's to that position manifesting.
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