What Was I Thinking?

Good Morning -

Do you know when I made this Virgen? I made it at 6 this morning when I woke up and was thinking about my morning and what I would blog about and what my Virgen from yesterday was and realized that I hadn't made a Virgen last night.

Yesterday during the day was all about packing boxes and getting stuff ready for moving.

Yesterday during the evening was all about attending the Wingspan Dinner, which meant wearing clothes and existing in a space very different from the clothes I've been wearing and the spaces I've been existing in lately.

After the dinner, we went to a friends' house for the after-party and didn't get home until almost 1 a.m. Maybe it was the hot kiss my partner gave me on the sidewalk as we walked up to the house, but I had no thoughts of Virgens in my head when I came in.

I've made Virgens on the floor by the elevator in the Phoenix airport. I've made Virgens on picnic tables by flashlight while camping. I've made Virgens in four different states (AZ, CA, PA, IL). I've made Virgens in all sorts of situations but apparently I've never made a Virgen after coming back from a party following a fancy fundraising dinner following a day of packing preceding two weeks of packing before moving to another state.

That must have been the kicker that had me forgetting to make a Virgen last night.

I was frustrated this morning that I had broken my own record, but then remembered that the making of the Virgens is a bit like therapy or meditation for me and so to beat myself up for forgetting it kind of rather misses the point entirely.

So, as I made this giant what-the-fuck, question-mark Virgen this morning, I thought about how busy things have been lately and how everything is getting uprooted and how it's a good thing but it's an unsettling thing and sometimes bits that are supposed to be anchoring bits in all the change get forgotten for a minute.

Either way, here's the Virgen. On the back of the tiles, I always put the date it was made and the city in which it was made. This tile says, "Sept 20 2008 made 6 a.m. on Sept 21 2008 Tucson".

Being honest makes for the best process.

Here's to that. Here's to honesty and only the best processes. Here's to remembering the rituals that ground us. Here's to stability in the midst of chaos.